i remember age 14 or so and trying to change 'myself' into how i wanted others to view me, and feeling the frustration and realizing the futility of that effort.  and i remember the raging NO that comes from the deepest place, in response to this wrong-headed effort.

never force a child to consider how others see him.  you know it is impossible to ever know how another thinks about anything.  never ask a child to contemplate what his friends or neighbors will think of his behavior.  nothing can be rated wrong or right in this perfect world because no one is in charge.

this is not the same as learning to not hit others or not interrupt while another is talking.  this is not learning how to function in close proximity to other talking mammals.

this is enforcing the thought pattern which enforces the belief in oneself as somehow separate from all of life and it is true evil to perpetuate.

the habit of passing judgement on life, as it is, is the direct path to hell.